It's been a minute.

When I created this blog, I had hoped that I would be able to update it pretty regularly. What I didn't realize was that right about the same time I would go through some sort of melt down. But...I am happy to announce that said melt down has run it's course and I'm back to just being the regular crazy me as opposed to the overly crazy me.

So let's see. A few things have happened since I last posted. We finally moved back to Ellisville. The move wasn't all that bad. And it didn't cost a fortune. Which is great. We basically had a van donated to us with gas included for a whole week. Isn't that something? Now I'm trying to unpack and I'm finding myself very unmotivated. Not for the reasons you would think though. I love where we are living now. I love the country. It's so peaceful here. I just want to sit back and relax and do nothing. It almost feels like time has stopped just for me and let me finally breathe for a minute. Haha...I know I'm not that special though.

Oh and my Nana set a wedding date. March 22. Oh, wait. They changed it. It's March 7th now. The day after my Papa's birthday. No. That's not right either. Oh yeah, It's this Sunday!! What the crap? Oh well. And then of all things my brother had no clue she had even decided to get married. I sent him a message on facebook to let him know about the newest date change and he totally freaked out. I can't believe he didn't know. We've been talking about it for weeks now. Anyway, Like I said before I'm really happy for her. It's hard for me but I'm dealing with it. But what makes me Furious is when someone who is not from my family freaks out about her getting married . Most of the time it's people from our church. I know they looked up to him (my Papa) as a pastor and all but what the freak people? If I, a member of his family who loved him dearly, can grin and bare it then you should be able to get over yourself for five freaking minutes and let a lady be happy. It makes me livid when they get visibly upset with crying and all. I really could just slap someone. But Thank GOD, I have self-control.

So now that my self professed melt down is over, I have been able to think clearly. Which has been amazing. And I'm writing again. I have all these ideas of things I want to write as well. So many actually that I can't even get them down on paper before a new idea starts. It's been crazy. I have had a spiritual awakening of some sort and I can see the world differently. I feel creative again. Not like some idiot who popped out a couple of kids and is struggling to keep her mind straight. I don't feel fragmented anymore. Maybe I had a quarter life (+ a year) crisis or something. But whatever it was is gone. And also I feel things now. That has been the worst part. Not being able to feel anything. But now I feel everything. I feel whole again. I feel full of life. I feel loved. I feel like I matter. I feel wise. I feel confident. I feel needed. I feel motherly. I feel important. I actually feel beautiful for the first time in a really long time. I don't have to have someone tell me it. I just feel it. It's amazing. Although, I still like to hear it occasionally. :)


Since we finally got moved, I was finally able to start going to the gym again. I have been so ready to go. Today was my first day and I totally loved it. I want to go back again already. It's so weird to me how much I have actually missed going to the gym since I have never really been athletic or anything. It's like I have been craving it. Just like I have been craving pineapple. I never really liked pineapple before but now it's like I can't get enough of it. Weird.

Tyler is starting his new school tomorrow. Well, now it's actually today since it's after midnight but whatever. I'm kind of nervous about it. I always hated switching schools so I hope everything goes smoothly.

So that about sums it up. Maybe now since the move is over I can post things more regularly and they won't be all jumbled into one post.